Cat Scratch Fever

So I've been a little ill lately. And I mean ill in the Southern sense, as in "moody" or "bitchy" and not as in "sick" or "feeling poorly." I've just been depressed. Some days are better than others. I am feeling better now that the sun has come back from its two week hiatus.
I had an eventful but unhealthy weekend. Lots more drinking and eating than I'd like to recall. No exercise to balance out all of the indulgence, unfortunately. And today I'm definitely feeling puffy and chubby and groggy as a result. But that's okay. Maybe I needed the stress relief?
Well. The sun is out. The weather is supposed to be good this week. I will walk my dog. I will eat well. I will not eat after 8 p.m., and I will put myself to bed by 10 p.m. I will try to stay positive and look on the bright side.
My apartment is growing on me, and this is a good thing. Let's keep that in mind.

In

I'm in the new place. The couch didn't fit. Know anybody who needs a couch? I'm selling it. I have a wish list about a mile long. It's good incentive for overtime. I've gotten a few lucky hand-me-downs so that I can at least settle in while choosing (and saving for) the things that I need. Hello, big ticket items.

Boom is adjusting.

I keep waiting for this to seem real. For what I'm doing and where I am to start feeling like my real life. To stop feeling like I'm waiting for something. To start feeling like my life is on a track, to somewhere that I actually want to go. This feeling of limbo is not new, but it is definitely more intense now that I am Tony-less. I used to tell myself that even though I might not have all of these other things I wanted, a satisfying career, a home of my own, that I at least was with the love of my life. That those other things would come in time. Now I feel at a complete loss. Unsure of what I want or how to begin or where I'm trying to go.

Maybe that's part of all of this. Making my own choices. Taking steps to get to where I want to be, and trying to figure out exactly what that is anyway. I don't really know. I just know that I want to feel like I'm starting to get it together. I'm not that young anymore. When will I finally that my real life has started?

The Move, The Move

Is happening Sept. 12 at noon. It's actually been happening all week. I've been packing and dragging what I can carry to the new place during my lunch breaks. I'm hoping to only have the big stuff left by next Saturday.
I need some things. I'm looking forward to the fall. I'm gonna' relax into myself and my new place. I'm gonna focus on my health. On my pooch. On hanging with the people that are important to me. I'm gonna work enough to get my apartment in order and hopefully pay down some debt.
This fall/winter has self-improvement written all over it. And I'm right on top of that, Rose.