Saturday, December 27, 2008

There's No Friends Like Old Friends


Nichole: I watched Martha Stewart yesterday.

Jade: I love Martha Stewart.

Nichole: I hate her.

Jade: (Look of anger and disgust)

Nichole: She had these chefs on her show, and they were cooking stuff, and she totally overpowered them.

Jade: (Smug face) If I were going to marry a woman, I would marry Martha Stewart.

Tarra: (Look of anger and disgust) What? You mean you wouldn't marry one of us?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The American Dream

Christmas day: dinner at Waffle House. "Free Bird" on the jukebox. No joke.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

She Wants That Old Thing Back

You know, that thing called sunshine. Every winter I hit the skids when the cold sets in. I have a little whiny spell of longing for the summer and the things that it entails. Like flip flops, tank tops and jeans. Like a tan. Like being warm. Like not staring into my closet for fifteen minutes each morning, panicking about what to wear in the 40 degree weather. Much less the hour I spent freaking out about what to wear on that night out. Well, that whiny spell is here.
I hate the winter for many reasons. One being that I spent half of my childhood in Michigan, with snow. I then returned for my college years, where I trudged to finals each year in a foot of snow and/or ice. Where the snow that falls in December is still there in March, April and sometimes May. Sure you love cold weather...it's 'cause you've never really had to live in it. Trek to class/work/bar in the dead of a Michigan winter (which lasts for five to six months rather than two) and then tell me how much you enjoy sweater season. I hate being cold. I hate it. I hate bundling up. I mean, I like scarves, but I wouldn't miss them if I never had to wear one again.
The other reason that I hate the winter is because I hate shopping, I suck at fashion, and I'm cheap. Actually, maybe those three reasons are all interrelated...you know, if A=B and B=C, then A=C? Anyway...since it's cold in the winter, you have to wear layers. Shirts have sleeves. Cold weather cuteness requires lots of layering and accessorizing and having a great coat/bag/boot for every flipping outfit. My ideal ensemble consists of a white tank top, jeans, and some high rise flip flops. Thanks. All of that extra fabric and those extra layers require extra effort, and they require more money too. The task of searching out all of those cute separates is daunting. And scary.
And a tan. Dear god, I hate being pale. It makes me sad. It makes me depressed. It makes me hate my body. Give me the sun. Yes, I know it's bad for me. But I love it. I love a sun-kissed glow. If you're not Nicole Kidman, or the EmoMullet, you look better with a tan. Everyone does. Healthy. Slimmer. Thinner. Freckled. Happier. Yes.
Okay, so that's a lot of whining. But really, I could handle the cold and the wintry mix of rain/sleet/snow we've been having lately, if a little sunshine would come my way. But I swear it seems that it hasn't been out for weeks. I need some Vitamin D! I'm not even asking for a tan at this point, just a little brightness on a month that's been looking more like Seattle than Middle Tennessee.
So, I guess, Santa, what I'm asking for this year, besides a WiiFit and a pair of jeans that won't fall apart after two months, is a bright, clear, sunshiney Christmas.