I'll be honest and admit that I had to look that word up a few weeks ago. But anyway, here's the story of the snake in the apartment. It was too good not to share:
Yes, so to add to the excitement of "what large insect will appear in our apartment today," on Sunday there was a snake slithering around our room. And not, like, a smallish, foot-long skinny snake. This thing was black and at least an inch in diameter and about 2-3 feet long. I am not exaggerating. It was a damn big snake to be galloping around my bedroom. I mean, we don't live in the rain forest, now do we?
Ashlyn and Charlie had spent the night with us on Saturday (on the floor, I might add). We were getting ready to take them back home, and getting stuff together, when Tony comes hauling ass out of the bedroom hollering, "Oh My God!" scoops up Boom and ushers me, Ashlyn and Charlie out the door, without telling us what is even in the bedroom. I have to tell Tony to stop so that we can put the leash on Boom before he chucks the dog out the door. Finally, he's like, "There's a snake in the bedroom." WTF?
So we all stand outside and panic a little. Charlie starts squalling about a snake biting him. We calm down, and I ask Tony if he can go back in and get my pants (this story would be infinitely funnier if I'd been in my underwear, but sadly, it was some skimpy shorts). And Tony's like, "No. Uh uh."
I wasn't quite so graceful at this point. I mean, what good is a boyfriend with giant muscles if he refuses to save your pants when you need them the most? So I go back into the bedroom, and, once I spot the said slytherin, I change my pants and watch it move around the room, wondering what the hell to do, since the office isn't open yet and we don't know what kind it is or whether it's poisonous or how it got in. I call the emergency maintenance line and leave a message. I keep Boom on his leash so he doesn't leap to my rescue by attacking the snake and making a big mess. Tony takes the kids back to their mom's, but not before Ashlyn comes into the bedroom with me (after repeated requests to see the snake), and she says, "Um, Nichole...I'm the only one who hasn't seen the snake, even Charlie saw it..."
The maintenance guy came in like 20 minutes and scooped it up with a lightbulb reacher. Goodbye, snake. Please don't come back. Or any of your brethren.
Crazy big snakes, crazy big roaches, at least no brown recluses at this point. The funny thing is, the snake bothered me way less than the roaches. I don't know why. I guess 'cause Tony saw it first, so he got the whole shock factor, which I avoided, and I figure it's a once in a lifetime sort of thing.
These are the days of our lives.
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3 comments:
My apartment also attracts unwelcome guests of the reptile variety. When I first moved in, I had a salamander that crawled around my living room. Since then I've had a bunch more outside of my front door & snakes, frogs, etc. It's very bizarre.
Last night Charlie brought in two baby possum. I never thought a city girl like me would ever in her life have to pick up a baby possum by the tail and put it back outside. (shudder)
Once again, HOLY CRAPOLY! That is just insane. I promise I'll still come hang out, but probably not without my trusty snake weapon (whatever that may be.) crazy!!
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