Grappling

I went to a funeral on Sunday. The funeral was for a boy that I went to high school with. He was a boy that I'd had a crush on for most of my adolescence. The thought that he is no longer wandering around this town, or this world, just outside of my periphery, is still incomprehensible to me. Eight years have gone by since I saw him daily, and yet the thought of his permanent absence knocked my heart out of its place. The confident, charming person he was in my mind, and the unhappy man he must have been in his reality...the two people don't coincide in my brain. How can perceptions sometime be so off kilter with reality? The loss of him makes me sad for myself, but more sad for his family, for his wife, and for his many friends. I do believe that his mother was right - she wrote in the note that they read at his funeral - that he touched more hearts and more people in this life than he ever realized. I hope he's found some peace, and that it finds the others missing him now.