I got a laptop last weekend. I've been claiming for the past few months that possession of a laptop would enable me to write more. Encourage me to write more. But I've been sitting here for a half an hour trying to get inspired, and nothing is coming.
There's lots of stuff that I want to write about. What's going on in my life. Mostly my feelings and emotions, but I never know where the line is with such a public forum. If I were anonymous it might be different. But it's tricky deciding how honest to be when I know about six of you who do most of the perusing of this page. And you range from co-worker friends to family to other bloggers.
I have been pretty depressed for a while, but I never know how much of that to share. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm still trying to determine the threshold of what's appropriate while remaining honest. I want to write, but for the past year my life hasn't been bubbly and full of domestic happiness the way that it was before. The past year has been full of looking at myself and into myself and seeing what I don't like and not wanting to reveal all of that to anyone, really. I realized that most of my previous posts were pretty superficial because I didn't want to get too personal and when I get low I get quiet. 'Cause who wants to read about someone who's fucking unhappy all the time, especially if she can't write about it eloquently and articulately?
The point. I guess. Is this: I want to write more. I want to write better. I want to write real. I want. I want. I want. Story of my life. When do I start doing instead of just wanting?
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