And Still

I still want that cat. FYI. But I did get some jeggings. I got black Mossimo ones from Target. Not a bad purchase for $20. They're not as magically flattering as I was hoping they would be, they still do the my-fatty-legs-are-stuffed-into-stretchy-pants crinkle that happens in the back of the thigh area, but, it happens in my jeans, so oh well. I like them well enough, and I don't remember the last time a pair of jeans only cost $20. Hopefully my health efforts will lead to a little weight-loss and make them look better in time.

Changes Good

So. How does one go about making positive changes in her life? Changes that she recognizes need to be made. Changes that she's been contemplating time and again. But bad habits are hard to break. And while I can very clearly see what changes I need to be making, I never seem to be able to stick with things. For me, it's money and health. I've already addressed my gradual weight gain in a previous post, so I don't want to gripe too much. The difference between the self of my now and the self of my youth is that I know what I'm doing wrong and I know what I need to do to fix it. Really my goal is not to focus solely on calorie counts and expenditures, but rather to make healthy changes in my life and then to see the results in the way my jeans fit.

So how do people resolve to make changes and then actually stick with them? If I did it once, I can do it again.

Ch-ch-changes:

1. Stop using my credit card and start paying it off. The balance just keeps going up. I have to be firm with myself and just say no. And learn to budget better.

2. Exercise more. And in different ways. There's no excuse for this one. It gets harder for me once it gets dark and cold, but I need to suck it up and do it. Especially when I know that it actually makes me feel good. The dog is not an excuse to not go to the Y!

3. Prepare and eat nutritious meals at home. I really want to start eating more whole foods and to expand my cooking abilities. I've been wanting to do this for a few months (since I read The Omnivore's Dilemma), but I basically haven't had enough money left over to try the new recipes that I've bookmarked.

I also need to drink less beer. But I might be condemning myself to failure if I try this during the holidays. So, we'll see about that one.

Anyway, there you have it. Probably the same three things that every girl aims to change every month or two. But maybe now that I've written it down it will make me hold myself accountable?

Gah

My underwear are shrinking again. I thought breaking up was supposed to make you lose weight, not gain it. I keep planning to lay low and work out and be healthy, and then life gets in the way. I've been eating whatever I desire and not getting in the workouts that I should. I've also been spending way too much money.
I theoretically like the fall, but once I have to dress for fall weather, I feel inadequate and under dressed. Fall dressing costs so much more than summer. Why are these the things that I worry about?
Anyway, it's about time to reign in the spending and beer and general sloth. I need a plan. I need to stick to it. These past few months it's been my goal to turn inward and start focusing on myself. I know I can't totally drop off the social scene without depressing repercussions, but I need to get my bodily health back to where it was last year. I haven't been on top of it for a while.

I am tired

I go to bed tired. I wake up tired. I am not doing anything too strenuous. Is it my diet? I'm taking supplements.
I'm working for the weekend.
I'm working out.
I'm working overtime.
But I'm not sure what I'm working toward.

Scoliosis

Okay, it's not scoliosis, but I don't know what it is.
I have one bump of spine that has been sore for a while. Maybe months. Over the winter I assumed it was the knot on the back of my coat that rubbed there when I drove. Or the place where my dog invariably dug his bony spine into mine when he curled up against me in bed.
I noticed it on Monday, and thought to myself, "Why are you still here? Why won't you go away?" Boom doesn't lay in that spot so much anymore. I haven't worn any tie-in-the-back shirts in a few months. It feels like a bruise. My back doesn't hurt. It's not sore, it's just if you poke that one bone, it feels bruised.
I asked Tony to look at it. He said it's got a little rash. He thinks it's ringworm. I've seen ringworm, and I don't think that's what it is. Now I'm a little afraid that I've got some serious condition that I've not even been paying attention to.
Time to go to the walk-in clinic just to make sure...

H2Orobics

So...the class went well. I was surprised by how difficult it was. I sort of imagined standing in lines and jumping around a little and splashing. It was a bit more intense than that. We had the whole length of the pool at our disposal, and the instructor (Colleen, I think) would show us how to do something and once we got the hang of it, she would send us off down to the other end. Once you got to the end, you had to come back by doing said exercise backwards. There were one or two things that I wasn't sure I was going to make it through. (i.e. sitting on a kickboard with your legs crossed and breast-stroking your entire way to the other end of the pool while sitting up straight on the board. I thought my arms were going to come off).
There were two older dudes and another woman there when I got there. I only have one bikini, which is about...um, 4 years old, and has been begging for replacement for the past two years. I didn't want to use my undesirable bathing suit as an excuse though, so I brought a tank top to go over it, just in case. Good thing. By the end of the hour, that string bikini was sagging down to my belly button, and my butt crack was most certainly on view for the lifeguard during several jumpy-type maneuvers. Ha ha. The good thing about having people that weren't my age in there was that I was a lot less embarassed than I would have been if it had been a class full of young women.
It was a good experience though. I'm definitely going to make it a once a week endeavor, but I'm definitely going to have to get a one-piece.
Tonight is the cardio kickbox class that I've been wanting to go to for the past month or two. I've been afraid to go by myself, but now that I've gone to one alone, I feel a little more confident. Although I'm still super nervous. I'm worried that I won't be able to keep up. But I think I'm going to suck it up and go anyway. We'll see...whew.

B Vitamins & Other Horse*@%!

Does it count as not cussing if I just put asterisks and ampersands in place of the bad word? Probably not.
Well, I have started taking some B vitamins and Iron supplements, since I'm not eating much meat anymore. It makes me feel good to do something beneficial for my body, and I swear that my mood has been slightly altered for the better by the B complex. Maybe it's only a placebo effect, but I'll take a placebo effect over no effect. The only problem with the vitamins is that they make my pee really yellow. I don't know why this bothers me, but it does. I drink a fair amount of water. My urine is usually practically clear, which I take some perverse pride in, apparently. Since I started taking these vitamins, it's been like a neon light there, glowing up at me from the commode. It makes me feel kind of toxic and makes me wonder if the vitamins are getting broken down. Hmm...there's food for thought.
I've re-dedicated myself to health this week. It seems like I re-dedicate myself to a healthy lifestyle every two months or so. I start out strong and then start to backslide. But I have a date in mind, June 28, when I go home to see my family, and I want to be in better shape by then. I've got a few fat pockets and a whole lot of cellulite that I want to attack. I'm trying to come up with a plan of action that's sustainable. My main problem is that I really love food, and I've never been any good at resisting something that appeals to me.
I'm going to a shallow water aerobics class at the Y tonight. First time ever. I'll let you know how it goes.

New McBlog

I'm starting a new blog. It will hopefully be a tool in my quest to like my body more. That's right. I'm going to invest some time and effort into living a more healthy lifestyle. In the form of trying to eat fewer baked goods and trying to get in more exercise. I'm hoping the blog will be a good motivator and also a way to document my progess. Please, god, let there be progress. So if health isn't your thing...don't read it. I need (+) support. I am considering putting up pre- & post- pictures, but I don't know if that might draw the wrong kind of support. Ha ha.
Anyway...wish me luck. I haven't picked a name yet. If I do well with this new endeavor, hopefully the confidence and good feelings will spill into everything else. And also into Chester Copperpot.

rancho carney

Two tablespoons of dressing turns out to be quite enough for a salad. Who knew?
In other news, I've got some New Quarter's Resolutions:
1) Only hit the Snooze button once.
2) Get to bed by 11 on weeknights (already breaking this one tonight as I'm going to WalMart with Tony to get Halo 3. Ooooh. Aaaah).
3) Take Boom for a walk every morning before work (excluding rain, of course).
4) Exercise during the week and get a day in on the weekend.
5) Learn to rollerskate like a pro.
6) Start blogging more.
7) Stop charging things to the credit card so I can get it paid off in a year or two.
8) Get the check engine light on my car to go off & get new tags before getting a ticket!
9) Don't get too tanked at tailgates this year.
10) Eat more vegetables.
What is it they say if you do something ten or fourteen days in a row then it becomes habit? Hmm...here's to better habits! Cheers!